Voting for the red ute, blue ute, pink ute, old black ute or green bike? Enjoy this cheeky review of the major parties’ transport policies.
Some say that Red Chris and Blue Chris are just slightly different shades of middle grey. And that Green Bike pulls Red Chris into the left-hand lane, while Pink Ute keeps Blue Chris from drifting into the left lane.
One thing’s for certain… none of us are certain about what that old black V8 ute will do. Will it blow another head gasket and drive off the left-hand side of the road again, or will it break down and take a-g-e-s for the parts to arrive?
We wouldn’t like to take sides, but thanks to the helpful website at policy.nz we have assembled this helpful policy comparison table to help you evaluate the major parties’ transport policies in regards to cars and roads…
| Transport Policies Compared – Cars & Roads | |||||
| Labour | National | ACT | NZ First | Greens | |
| GET RID OF THINGS: | |||||
| Abolish the Clean Car Discount and Ute Tax | ✓ | ✓ | |||
| Abolish the Auckland regional fuel tax | ✓ | ✓ | |||
| End the Let’s Get Wellington Moving programme | ✓ | ✓ | |||
| Reverse speed limit reductions | ✓ | ✓ | |||
| PETROL TAX: | |||||
| Freeze petrol taxes for three years | ✓ | ||||
| Replace fuel taxes with user-pays road pricing | ✓ | ||||
| ROADS & INFRASTRUCTURE: | |||||
| Build or improve roads and stuff in Northland, Auckland, Waikato, Bay of Plenty, Hawkes Bay, Wellington and the South Island | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | ||
| Increase speed limits on selected motorways | ✓ | ✓ | |||
| Create new state owned enterprise to manage state highways | ✓ | ||||
| Require transport authorities to consider alternative transport options (e.g. cycling & walking) when undertaking road maintenance | ✓ | ||||
| ELECTRIFICATION & ENVIRONMENT: | |||||
| Allow the use of congestion charging in cities | ✓ | ||||
| Increase funding for public EV charging network | ✓ | ||||
| Other EV charging network initiatives | ✓ | ||||
| Encourage private sector to expand EV charging network | ✓ | ||||
| Provide grants for low-emissions heavy vehicles for freight | ✓ | ||||
| LAW & ORDER: | |||||
| Increase penalties for drivers who flee Police | ✓ | ||||
| Expand access to driving training for secondary school students and prisoners | ✓ | ||||
Info source: https://policy.nz/2023/party-vote/policies/transport-and-infrastructure/subtopics/cars-and-roads
• • •
Red Ute
Red Ute wants to spend a bit of money on roads and motorways and bridges around the country, plus a new tunnel in Wellington, and do up some level crossings in Auckland and Wellington.
Red Ute is warm on EV charging. He’s going to “work with” the private sector to expand the EV charging network. And he’s going to hand out 500 grants for low-emissions heavy vehicles for freight.
Red Ute likes to take the slow lane, which is why he’s been chopping speed limits all over the place, and hasn’t signalled any intention of changing that.
• • •
Blue Ute
Blue Ute wants to spend lots of money on roads and motorways and bridges around the country, plus a new tunnel in Wellington.
Blue Ute has the hots for EV charging. He’s going all out to build more, and remove some of the barriers to building more.
Blue Ute has stolen a march on Red Ute and Green Bike and is going to “allow the use of congestion charging in cities”. That means charging motorists who use roads at peak times to encourage them to change their time, method or route of travel.
Blue Ute hates taxes so he’s going to get rid of Auckland’s regional fuel tax and the Clean Car Discount and Ute Tax. And he’s promised not to increase petrol taxes in his first term. After that? Dunno.
Blue Ute hates the “woke” Let’s Get Wellington Moving programme too. Gone by teatime.
Blue Ute also hates driving slow, so he’s not only going to reverse all of Red Ute’s speed limit reductions, he’s going to let you drive faster on selected motorways too.
• • •
Pink Ute
Pink Ute is mates with Blue Ute. He’s going to try and stop Blue Ute from drifting too far into the left lane.
Pink Ute hates lots of things. On the hit list are: Auckland’s regional fuel tax, the Clean Car Discount and Ute Tax, and the “woke” Let’s Get Wellington Moving programme.
He also hates pot holes and is going to create a new state owned enterprise to manage state highways.
And petrol taxes? Gone. Replaced with user-pays road pricing.
Pink Ute hates driving slow, just like his mate Blue Ute. So, he’s going to reverse all of Red Ute’s speed limit reductions and let you drive faster on selected motorways too.
• • •
Black Ute
Black Ute is a bit unpredictable so we’re never quite sure which side of the road he’s going to drive on. And every time we think he’s gone in for a rebuild, he gate crashes the party again.
Black Ute is hot on roads and stuff in Tauranga and Northland. That’s because the driver is from Tauranga and his passenger is from Northland and they’re looking after their homies.
Black Ute is hot on law and order. He wants to increase penalties for drivers who flee Police, and give more driving training to secondary school students and prisoners.
We’re guessing the prisoners weren’t very good at fleeing the Police, which is why they’re prisoners.
Maybe Black Ute wants them trained up to do a better job of fleeing the Police after their next ram raid. If they don’t get caught that will keep the prison population down, eh bro. And that’s something Red Ute and Green Bike would agree on too.
• • •
Green Bike
Green Bike has the hots for cycling and walking, and the stink eye for cars and utes. Especially utes.
They have lots of policies about public transport, cycling, walking and trains, but only one about cars and roads.
They believe that road and street maintenance is an opportunity to “holistically improve transportation by considering all modes of commute,” not just cars and utes. That’s why they want to mandate the “consideration and potential incorporation of cycleways, busways, and other public transport infrastructure enhancements” whenever road maintenance projects are undertaken.
Race to the Polls
It’s going to be an interesting election. Will we have a Government by the time we publish next week’s newsletter? I suspect that will depend on whether Black Ute mixes up his petrol and diesel again.